Ha Ha Ha

I love being entertained. Stupid things. Silly things. Anything that makes me laugh. It feels good. It's like being Lenny from Of Mice and Men. He pets things because it feels good. Well, I enjoy these benefits from laughing. I am not a hard audience. You do not have to be especially clever. You can be witty, although, if you are too erudite, I might miss it. There is nothing I tire of more, than jokes I cannot get.

This always triggers my anxiety when someone starts telling a joke and I begin to think, "You are not going to get it, you numbskull. But the three other people in the room will!" By the time the joke is done, I am busy squeezing my forehead "trying" to get it, which makes me feel a bit constipated and stifled, and then even if I do get it, it is not so enjoyable. It is like being tickled and having someone poke you with a scissors at the same time.

So what is my point? Well, I really don't have one. This is my problem. A friend of mine the other day told me, "You are unfocused." I thought about this for a while, and I saw a giant sign above my head, and I pictured a giant name-tag across my neck. UNFOCUSED. It seemed like a bad thing. I was deemed unfocused because my friend said that I am always on to different ideas. I didn't ask but I wondered, if I had the same theme all the time, would I then be FOCUSED? Perhaps if I just repeat the same phrase over and over, people will laud me and pat me on the back everywhere I walk.."You are FOCUSED," they will say in that very impressed voice that impressed people use. Maybe then I will wear blue jeans instead of old, sloppy exercise clothes all the time and I will wear eye makeup and remove it nightly. And I will not get those goopy things in the corner of my eye the next day.

I thought about this UNFOCUSED as being my potential achilles heel in "life."

But maybe being this supposed UNFOCUSED allows me to see things not so clearly. Which allows me to interpret all sorts of events and causes. Which allows me to analyze and think of other ways to do things, like something brilliant I would like to use for an example, but I can't think of any. I am not really sure about this--whether this is my "problem" in life--being unfocused, not being able to think of clever things. Maybe it's just a bad rap, like being born with six toes.

My "problems" are funny as soon as I see that they are not at all problems, but things I am making a fuss over. I sigh or I groan, or I rant. I like ranting. Not all the time, but depends if it gets me wound up enough. I'm okay when I can find humor in something. Usually it will happen while I'm in the midst of making a drama. Part of me looks and says, you've got to be kidding--that is the stupidest thing ever. And then I start smiling in spite of me.

I guess I like "funny" so much, because then I am not walking around like everything is serious with the straight face and the straight body and the backside that appears to have something lodged up it. And a tight neck. If I am very serious, my neck becomes like steel. I would rather have the floppy Sharpei neck than a tight one. It is a good thing to find yourself funny. Then you can laugh and even if you are unfocused, or have a crooked part, or maybe just don't like Sneetches, (the creatures from Dr. Seuss) life can still be funny.

I would rather be a simpleton and laugh than be up on the latest grim reporting in the paper. Funny is as funny does. And life for me is much more pleasant this way. After all, in a matter of time, I will be a bag of bones. And that's funny.