The Crest of Wanting

There is an ache to wanting. It starts in my throat, and I feel this sweeping motion moving through me. It is like a wave that comes over me, and then instead of release, it sinks back down again. So this is what makes it "wanting" and not "completion." The wave lifts and sinks and lifts and sinks. It gets me riled in the same way you can get a dog worked up by running around and around until they begin to jump up and down, nip at you. They are expecting something.

What's next? That is what they are expecting. That you will throw the ball, roll on the floor with them, shake things up. And this is the same aspect that keeps this wanting a frustrated, unclaimed passion that hints at bursting, but sinks just before the final moment.

And what do I do then without release? Find something else that interests me. Let my fingers fly on the keys. Press my feet into the ground and lift my arms and shake my body around. Open up my mind and let beauty and excitement and something live or maybe creepy pour out. It is a good feeling to be excited and know that I have a pulse. I prefer excitement to staring blankly without the joy or the effort. But sometimes, there is so much of it in me, and so little idea of what to do with it all.